29 May

I consider myself a semi-awkward person. But I think I’m also outgoing enough to negate any embarrassment. Oftentimes I’ll babble if I’m feeling a little bit awkward or nervous but generally I think I’m pretty cool (and obviously a huge nerd). Sometimes when I’m around other people that I think are way cooler than me, I babble. I do weird things with my hands. I say stuff that might be thought of as strange and totally non sequitur.

The other weird part though is that I am infinitely more awkward around other awkward people. I’m part of a coffee club at work and it’s four floors up from the floor I work on. I usually take the elevator both ways because I am clumsy (add insult to injury) and a full cup of coffee plus more than 60 stairs? Paige comes crashing down spilling coffee and breaking mug and bones. It’s never happened but I wouldn’t put it past me.

So I press the elevator up button in my lobby and normally there’s no one on the elevator because I get coffee at times that everyone is already on their desired floor. But today there was a girl on the elevator, about my age, at which I would normally smile. But, this girl was a fellow awkward, yet much more so than myself. She wouldn’t make eye contact and smirked awkwardly at the floor and moved away a couple inches. In these situations I have no idea what to do! I smiled anyway, of course, and stood awkwardly off to the side and sidled out of the elevator when it reached my destination.

I try when I can to not be as oafish as I believe I am. Sometimes this leads to a lack of conversation or just being quiet and seemingly withdrawn. I’ve had people ask what’s wrong because I’m in my head but I’m really just trying not to be a bumbling fool.

So if I’m uncouth or not suave or just rambling like a baffoon, it’s probably because you’re way cooler than me.


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